Exploring and Observing

Last week by itself is worth writing story entitled “How to find your place in life”, but I’d like to cover the period of last two months, as this is exactly the period of my life, which gave me so many answers to those questions which I didn’t even have before.

Having spent almost equal amount of time in each of four! different countries (England, Finland, Ukraine and Germany) for the last 8 weeks created some kind of “double rainbow” in my mind. Cold by temperature, but warm, when it comes to emotions, Finland became my Motherland, with no question. However this is a case when one needs visa to go to the country he loves the most so far. Warm by temperature, but cold in other senses England opened my eyes to the world of poor and rich, traditions, heritage, and fish-n-chips. I couldn’t believe that everything is defined by the place one was born and brought up. Deviations are like exception from the rule and even most liberal ideas have strong conservative nature behind them. Conservative and economical approach is everywhere. The only thing I don’t understand is why the country goes into recession then…

A: I had 79.

B: Really? I had 65.

A: That’s also a lot. How was your last one?

B: Quite nice. But I want to find something constant because it’s too much.

 My first thought was that after 40-50, normally it might become hard to keep tracking. Then I realized that those two men in the plane from Helsinki to Berlin were talking about their….cars. One Finnish guy was talking to German one in English about how many cars they had in their lives. Quite random, isn’t it? Globalisierung…

When I stood on the German ground in Tegel, I got a feeling of déjà vu. The same country where so many wonderful things happened in 2011, but now it’s completely new for me. It was one more time to start everything from the scratch – I know no-one, nothing about Berlin (except Watergate and döner) but I talk some kind of parody to German. This feeling of freedom is with me all the time here. This is a type of freedom which is close to the case when no-one gives a damn about you, and you know it and there is nothing you want/can/need to do about it. In such moments one really understands the importance of family and friends. Speaking of friendship and other feelings-involved stuff , I should say that these 3 weeks in Berlin made me realize and re-evaluate a lot – best regards go to Soumi, Capitalist nest, Big brother of Capitalist nest in North America and of course to people of Leipzich. In addition to pro-active part of exploring the city, numerous moments (let’s call them moments) of solitude gave me an excellent opportunity to treat myself with cool masterpieces, z.B. “Chronicle of a Death Foretold” by my dear Marquez.

While walking in Kreuzberg, I saw brothel, flowers shop, bakery and bookshop on the same street almost next to each other. It seems like one may spend all his life there and get everything he might want and need. The most ironical scene was particularly the flower shop in front of the brothel. I bet the intention is either to buy flowers before to feel romantic , or to buy them after as an excuse for being late

As you can see, everything is possible in Berlin. Literally everything. I had some understanding of how life/word/relationships between people function(s) but during my time in this city, I discover something new again and again. My main conclusion – there is nothing constant, even though I would like some things to be. “Yes” not necessarily means “yes”; bank card doesn’t prove your ability to pay; having a lot of fun doesn’t require a lot of money; being invited doesn’t mean to be welcome; national anthem of Liechtenstein has music of British one.

In addition to that, I was thinking about the shadows over the system of beliefs and trust discussed recently with respect to the crisis in “Western capitals”, which led me to another idea – problems are similar either on personal relationships level or macro level. For governments, currency and regulations are equivalents of values, for people – words and actions. The existence both of currency and trust in words is purely defined by the belief in them. There are currency exchanges where one can see and track how this or that currency/government was performing so far, but unfortunately, when it comes to people, one should either be prepared to be paid with rai stones or otherwise he or she might end up in troubles.

Finally, going back to the question of place I’ve found/got for me due to different circumstances:

All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin, and, therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words “Ich bin ein Berliner!”

Yes, I am, my dear friends. Freedom has many manifestations, and I’m discovering some of them these days. It doesn’t mean I like everything I learn but whatever that doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger. And…I absolutely believe that being poor and sexy is much better than rich and unable to…well you understand what I mean. I was always prepared to give the best of me in everything I do, but now, in Berlin, I’m also ready to get the best of it, because “no song, no supper”.