Life is what happens when we are busy making plans, they say. Exactly my case. I am starting yet another challenge, without having much alternative options. Thank God, I have my family and friends.
Let this song describe how I feel now.
We think, we hope, we cry, we love, we regret, we forgive. Life goes on in an continuous flow, that starts without our control and always ends unexpectedly, because there is never enough of life for anyone. Sometimes we meet few souls who can warm us, when it is so fucking cold outside. It is cold from ignorance, arrogance and greediness. There is no guarantee we will ever meet them, there is nothing that can help us finding even a single one. The only thing we can do - is keep on trying.
One day, the moment will come, and we will be remembered by the feeling we were giving, our smiles and gestures, the way we hold a cigarette, the way we kiss, the way we give a hug, the way we look into each other’s eyes before and after.
This something, that makes you rich without a single coin in your pocket, we either have it or we don’t. We can spend the whole live swimming in a mud ocean of jerks, or we can bump into a beautiful soul that takes us to the sky.
Love goes by, time goes by, our bodies vanish into the dust, our arguments don’t matter, our parties don’t matter either. Words matter even less.
One day, I will be forgotten, I will be gone. Let it be, hopefully not too soon. I am rich, I met “my” souls. In my past, in my present and who knows, maybe in the future too.
Some are still with me now, for some I might be already forgotten, for others I am yet a person to meet. I don’t care. You matter to me, and, maybe, I matter to you still.
Inspired by:
Andre Maurois - “Lettres à l'inconnue”
Alejandro Jodorowsky - “Poesia sin fin”
Frederick Chopin
Frank Sinatra, coffee, simple breakfast - my morning starts in a windy and snowy Berlin. February gives it all - sun, rain, snow and wind in one day. A month, when I started my way here in Berlin, a month when I usually summarise my past year - what have been done? what haven’t been done? did it matter at all?
I walk to Chausseestraße, Schwarzkopfstraße, I stop by Balzac Coffee. Sunny day. My third month of unemployment goes pretty fine. All these places were my spots to recover after a hard and long working week. I must say - they are just the same for me now. German secret service buildings created a “new Berlin wall”. So many new buildings, so many places have disappeared. I finally made it to Naturkundemuseum, by myself.
While I am vagabonding through the streets of my first year in Berlin, I see that they look just the same as they used to. Nordbahnhof is just the same empty place with trams passing by. Antonplatz is just the same too. Hackescher Markt, Alexanderplatz, Warschauerstraße - all the same “poor but sexy” city.
Someone probably erases the memories or adapts them to be “not so important as they seemed to be”. I don’t have this skill so my past lives next to my present, here in this city. Oh God, how many things happened since then… and how few at the same time.
To “those” who recently had their birthday, to those who have that good skill to forget, to those who move one, to those who know that it is to hold hands while sleeping on separate beds, to those who inspired me. All the mistakes of playing were kept on purpose, for a certain reason.
It is ok to be sentimental, my friend. It is fine to move on. It is fine to be stuck in the past for some time, too. Life is only what we think of it.
“You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”
